(no subject)

[walklikeaman]

[There's a slightly twitchy looking man walking down the street. Do you:

A. Point and laugh as he turns to the side and starts oh so obviously talking to himself?
B. Slide on up to his adorable self and lay on some sick flirtations?
C. Pull out a business card and offer him professional help, or just generally refer him to the nearest psychiatric hospital?
D. Attempt to simply side-step his crazy and be on your way?

Or E. You're equally as insane, so... misery loves company, right?]

Comments

guess which one he's picking?

[capischeja]

[Hans will just stroll on past, crazy is a dime a dozen on this str--why, hellooo there well dressed gentleman. Oh you betcha he'll turn around for that. He'll catch up and then you can have a blonde porcupine sneaky flirt getting all up in your space beside you.]

You seem quite unvell, mein herr. Do you feel alright?

sobbing horribly tbh

[walklikeaman]

[Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

He's twitching quite visibly before the man even opens his mouth, spinning on heel and--

... Clearly hallucinating over any resemblance between the two of them. Because seeing things was just, you know, a thing. But anyway. He's grinning tensely.]

Alright? Yes. Yeah, of course I'm alright, why wouldn't I be alright? Do I look not alright?

[capischeja]

[Hans just looks back flatly with a playful curve to his lips that asks 'Do you really want me to answer that honestly?']

You are twitching for one zhing. For anozher... [He reaches up and boops him on the nose with his pinky finger.] You look like me. I zhink I look better, naturally, for I am Hans, you see, and vhat could be better zhan me? [Tittering giggle.] Nein, you must not answer, it is obvious, but might I say zhat I could very much see myself in zhat suit. In it, on it, perhaps it vould look better on a bedpost, do you not agree?

[Try and keep up, Thomas, he talks fast.]

[walklikeaman]

[He's... usually able to keep up. But for some reason his eyes keep flicking to Hans' left, just a few inches, his right eye twitching as his fingers keep moving. Tiny, aborted movements like he's trying to shoo someone oh so casually to the side.

And in the end he's just flinching backwards at the... "boop" to his nose and trying his best to give a tight grin and--

Yeah, there's no possible way he's responding to this in any coherent fashion]

Thanks, it is a nice suuuuu-no. No, no. No, uh. Thanks but no thank you no REALLY, no. Bedposts. Or any other sort of- [He's outright glaring at that spot a few inches from your left cheek, there]

The suit is staying on.

[capischeja]

Nudity is such an art form, ja?

[Fluttery finger wave out in front of him, accidentally bumping Thomas's arm when he did.]

Not everyone can paint with its colors or string along its music. Ah! But you seem not an artist, so I am simply rambling. In point of fact, you seem to razher enjoy a more direct approach, hm? I am not wrong, nein, for I am never vrong. It is a gift from zhe spirits!

[Quick as a butterfly and freakin' everywhere like a spider's legs, his fingers are all over the tip of that tie. Curled around it, caressing, baby, he is making love to your tie right now. Also in front, blocking a chance to just walk away.]

Zhe suit can stay on as you vish. [Sliiiight tug.] Since you do so enjoy being vound up. So much tension... allow Hans to help you?

[The tip of that tie is getting a kiss, then the slightest flicker of his tongue. No chance of missing it.]

[walklikeaman]

[Ooooooookay he is definitely uncomfortable right now. Red warning lights going off everywhere in his mind. DANGER DANGER MOLESTER IN FRONT OF YOU! But, at the same time, it's that kind of weirded out that has him frozen in place, his eyes wide and mouth open, trying to work and just... not... getting very far with that.

Until, of course, that kiss to the tip of his tie, the wiggle of tongue. That's a slap of horror that has Thomas trying desperately to take a step back and get the guy to let go.]

I'm fine. Like tension, hate crazy people. So uh, awesome that you're getting so.... intimate with my tie- you can have it if you want, but I'm just- I have things. To do. Work things, places to be, people to expect me so just- [a pause, a shiver] LET....[A squeak, almost, voice cracking just a little as his body jerks] me......

[His voice is softer, his entire countenance shifting as he throws his arms forward, wrapping around Hans' shoulder and pressing up against him, chest against chest] .... Tell you how wonderful it is to have met you- ... Hans, was it? Oh, been far too long since I've had a big- [One arm has moved, fingers walking slowly up his chest] - strong man looking after me~

[capischeja]

[Well, now. That was a sudden, unexpected change that actually surprised Hans. Here he thought he'd have to be a bit more persuasive, more obvious... but. Okay. This works too.

...Not even going to ask about the personality shift. Crazy happens here, he'll make love to all of the man's personalities if permitted.]

You poor zhing! Zhis is vorse zhan I thought. [His other arm snakes around Thomas's waist, and at the same time he's leaning up, lips thiiiis close.] For you are clearly in desperate need of my many, many talents.

[He repeats his licking, only now on Thomas's lips instead of his tie. But, oh, that's all you get before he's moving back a step. That tie is still securely held, and it's now his leash.]

Zhis vay to mein paradise, mein liebling~ [Down a side alley - which isn't completely dark because daytime - and eventually to a back entrance to... a hotel? Seedy video store? Does it even matter?]